My Own Road to Happiness

This one time in my life, I was so not happy. I tried and tried to be happy, but I just wasn't. I didn't have many friends growing up (and by many I actually mean any!) and like most preteens/teenagers I didn't know where I fit in the world, but it definitely felt like nowhere. I felt so completely and utterly alone. That is not a fun feeling. I didn't even have any sure belief that God was there. It felt like my life was pointless and that nobody wanted me around.

I remember this one time coming home after school, I think it was when I was in 7th grade, and I just started crying to my dad. He has always made me feel wanted and special all of my life. Not that I would always listen to the good advice and kind words he gave me. It was during this time that he was my only friend. Anyways, back to the story! We were in our living room and I was laying on the floor just crying! haha! (Now it's pretty funny to look back on it, in the moment, so not fun, now, pretty funny. I think I can laugh about it because I have overcome it!)

So anyways I was crying to him, "Daaaad! I have no-oh friends!!" My loneliness was at an all time high. I blamed it on my, well frankly, on my quirky and unusual manner of being. I guess you could say I marched to the strange beat of my own weird drum, and still do. I described to him the endless woe that was my life at the time. "No one likes me." "Everyone has a best friend but me." "No one invites me to their parties or to hang out!" "Everyone is mean to me!"

My dad proceeded to call my older BROTHER into the room and tell him to hang out with me or go get some food with me. EMBARRASSING!
Especially when your teenage brother starts complaining like hanging out with me would ruin him image or be a real drag. Let's just say I wasn't overly thrilled that the only person around to hang with me was my big brother who was wrangled into it by way of command.

Well my options were few and I guess his heart was softened by the pathetic scene before him because he got kinder and said let's go. So I went and we did have a great time together. I mean come on I love my brother! It just would have been nice to be with friends my own age.

This is one example of the sadness I was feeling my life. It had been lonely for a few years before that and continued for a few years after. In these following years, I learned a lot and grew into my own. It reached the pinnacle when I was 16 or so and I know this will maybe sound cheesy or cliche but it's the truth, this was a point in my life that I started praying a little bit and started a relationship with Heavenly Father. It wasn't much, but it was enough to begin a pathway to happiness. Eventually I found a testimony of God, and that He was my Father in Heaven. And just like my earthly father who had been my only friend, He would be my constant friend too.

After this relationship began I started to have friend friends! I started to find things that I loved to do, like dance and art! It was a time of growing happiness and growing faith. I'm glad I went through what I did. How could I possibly love the days that were filled with sorrow? Maybe I could't right in that moment, but the lessons I learned in those times I deem invaluable. Firstly, because I experienced sadness, I appreciated the happiness. Secondly, these experiences gave me greater insight and compassion for the lonely or low in heart. Thirdly, that I did have a Father in Heaven who loves me greatly and desires my happiness.

Sent from my iPad